Thursday, December 16, 2010


I wish I had a lot of happy news to share, but I am still not feeling so good. Still waiting for the new medicine to kick in, and still waiting til I feel like eating again. I don't really remember what it feels like to feel good, and to feel normal. I am sure it will make me appreciate it that much more when I do. I have been through worse pain but just the feeling of not feeling good all the time seems to stick with me. It's kind of just a helpless feeling because I can't really do anything but wait. Just wait to feel better and wait to go home. I know I am going through this for a reason, it's just hard to keep that in mind at times. I'm really looking forward to getting home and feeling better. The day will come, sorry this post isn't all that fun. hopefully next time's will be better. Until then --



  1. I know exactly how you feel. When I am in the ER or there is an emergency with my body, I can handle it....adreneline rush, etc. But when I am just sick forever, I can't STAND it!!! It's like how a paper cut seems to hurt more than a broken arm....hummmmmmm
    Just keep on chuggin' along, you are one amazing girl!!!
    From someone else struggling with cancer,
    Christa Johnson

  2. Hang in there, small words but the people that love and pray for you are so huge! You are so loved!!!!
    It is ok to not always blog in "up" mood, everyone is here for you in bad and good times. We pray that you get well soon.

  3. McKell Lucile SteeleDecember 17, 2010 at 8:35 AM

    Rachel Lucile Steele,

    There is never a need for you to apologize my dear girl! I want to hear about your struggles and trials so I can help you! Let me know what I can do. The Cousin Clan is comin up on Monday!! WOOT WOOT! I can't wait to see you:) I love you and everyone else loves you too. Never forget that Rachoodle!

  4. Rachel-
    You have every right to not always be in an "up" mood. There are times when you need to allow yourself to feel what you REALLY feel. My heart and thoughts are with you as I know the feeling of not feeling well for a very long time. It can be very draining. My Christmas wish is for you to be able to be with your family and to feel even just a little bit better for the holiday. You are loved by many, may that bless you to be strengthened. Best wishes to you and all of your family.

  5. Rachel,

    If I was there I'd barge into your room to share this link with you. Read Megan's amazing story and watch her video. Click on "The Song". All cancer survivors!

    You can do it!

  6. Hi. This is Dallin. We love you and we have a Wii in our house. Dancing sheeps. For fun. 10 dancing sheeps, 1 dancing sheep, now 2 dancing sheeps, 2 dancing horses, (commentary to his mom: I guess she'll laugh), 33 dancing dogs. We have a kitty cat game on my dad's, on Paul's iPod and a pokeeman game and 37 dancing peekachu and the powerfullest pokeman evaaaa!!! And the powerful powerful pokeman guy prukasaurus. and two more pokeman guys have rhinosaurus and one more guy to go. Forest? Bye.

    Love, Dallin and love Rachel and love pokeman forest


  7. This is Ellie. I want to say I love you. Purple is my new favorite color. My favorite color is purple.

  8. Hey Rachel! Sorry you aren't feeling so good right now. Thinking about you all the time! Can't wait until you are home :)

  9. Until then...remember you are loved and remember you are being prayed for. It's ok to feel not so great sometimes, it would be hard to stay positive every second when you feel so yucky! Remember we are satying positive and keeping the faith so the moments when you feel down there are others feeling positive for you. Fingers crossed that you will make it home for Christmas! Lots and lots of prayers for yourentire family.