One year ago today I went into the ER with a terrible headache and neck pain. We suspected it would be meningitis. I remember being really scared to get a spinal tap. They drugged me up to help with my headache, and to make it so I wouldn't feel the spinal tap. They sent us up to a room where we worried over what type of meningitis I had. I was quietly praying that I would be able to get better in two weeks for nationals. Around 9 pm the infectious disease doctor came in and kept saying that he was really hoping this would turn out to be meningitis. We were all a little bit confused. Then he mentioned that there were small signs of leukemic blasts in my blood, and that they were calling in an expert to come take a closer look. Before leaving the room he assured us that the "odds were in my favor", and that he really felt strongly that this would be meningitis. After an hour went by they called my parents out of the room, and I began to panic. My fears were confirmed as I saw the doctors and my parents walk back towards the room, with tears streaming down their face. I had leukemia. They told us that they were going to transport me up to primary children's immediately. My mom was not allowed to ride in the back of the ambulance with me, so I rode alone with an ambulance attendant, while my mom rode up front and my dad followed behind in a car. It was the longest ride of my life. I quietly sat and cried, wondering what would happen to me. Hoping that they were wrong. I called and texted a few friends and told them what was going on. It was now about 1:30 in the morning. The next morning they did a number of tests to confirm what type of Leukemia I had. It turned out that I was diagnosed with what was considered to be the "worse" of the two most common types. I tearfully called the college coaches that I had been in contact with, and informed them that I would not be at nationals in a couple of weeks. That day I had a large number of visitors, friends and family rushed up to come see me. It was a very sad day but I tried my best to stay positive. I don't think it had really sunk in yet. This was the start of the longest year of my life.
It is funny how the longest year of my life seemed to go by pretty fast. Maybe it was because of all the medication I was on that much of it seemed like a blur. I was forced to grow up faster than I would have liked. Forced to worry about whether I would live or die, rather than what I was going to wear to school the next morning.
I went through over 130 days in the hospital, over 3 weeks at a time without being able to eat, countless medicines and chemotherapies, the scare of not being able to get into remission, full body irradiation, one bone marrow transplant, and I now sit here today cancer free. I have learned that life is so very fragile, and should be treasured. I have learned the importance of the support that friends and family can offer. I have learned that cancer is almost a bigger emotional battle than it is physical. I will admit, sometimes I forget the lessons I have learned. Cancer hasn't made me perfect by any means, it has just taught me a lot. And even though I am still struggling to get back to my normal self.... I believe that when I do I will be a better person because of all I have learned.
We are not on this earth to struggle alone. The whole point is that we help one another out. To quote high school musical, "WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER". I am so grateful that I have had a wonderful support system. Now I am sort of beginning to ramble. So I will conclude this post by saying thank you so much for all that each and every one of you has done. Your prayers have made all the difference! Here is to a healthy year to come!
Rachel
